Joe Kool’s

This ranch is so thin I thought someone spilled their water and called it dressing. It’s giving ranch-flavored water. You need a bib, a poncho, and possibly a prayer just to survive the drip; it basically runs off everything.

I wanted a dip, not a drip!

Which honestly sucks, because the flavor? Not bad! There’s a little black pepper heat (not in a spicy way) that wants to be somebody. Is anyone else singing Whitney Houston, now?

But no amount of decent taste can distract me from the fact that this ranch has the consistency of melted ice cream.

It’s hands-down the thinnest I’ve ever met, and I’ve met a lot of ranch in my days.