Ale Bird - Bryon Center, Michigan
Regular ranch = yes, please. Jalapeño ranch = time-traveling back to a sad bottle life.
RANCH REVIEWMICHIGAN BASEDRUNNER-UPDRESSING APPROVED!
Ale Bird had two options (yay, ranchx2!): regular and jalapeño.
The regular ranch? Pretty good, definitely worth a Runner-Up spot. Flavor is solid, though it’s a little on the runny side. Still, I’d happily dunk a fry (or twelve) in it.
The jalapeño ranch, though… listen. Usually, jalapeño ranch is just the regular stuff with some flavor stirred in, right? Somehow, this one went back in time and downgraded itself into full-on store-bought sadness. It does have a strong jalapeño taste (which I liked!) with a little spicey kick, but that's where it ended. It weirdly lost the magic and filled me with store-bought sadness.
But we round up here at The Dressing Room and take the best score for the overall, like I wished all my professors did in college.




Food I ate with the ranch
Full Review

