IHOP - Mount Pleasant, Michigan
Bottled look, bottled vibe, and a taste that somehow lands in the “meh” zone thanks to a strangely sour edge. Think Applebee’s ranch, but with less charm and a little identity confusion. Store-bought sadness with a single eyebrow raise.
RANCH REVIEWCHAIN RESTAURANTSTORE-BOUGHT SADNESS
I didn’t walk into IHOP expecting ranch greatness, but I showed up anyway. I want to make sure you're informed as much as possible. I’m out here bringing the people the important information, even when my hopes are already on the floor.
From the jump, the ranch looked and smelled like it came straight from a bottle, and not the good kind. We’re talking thick, overly processed, brought to you by preservatives, energy. Texture? That classic squeeze-bottle sludge we all know too well.
But the taste... weirdly threw me. Still firmly in bottled territory, but with a sour tang that actually made it slightly more tolerable? Not good, not recommendable, but oddly less offensive than it smelled. It gave me Applebee’s ranch vibes, but like, the slightly uglier cousin who’s always trying too hard by one-upping at a family dinner.
I didn’t finish it, but I also didn’t run. It’s giving, “Fine. I guess.” But only because I was already there. I also tried the honey mustard as my backup... I don't think I've had a worse version of that, but that's a whole different review. I think I'll stick to breakfast next time I'm there.
