Pisanello's Pizza - Mount Pleasant, Michigan
I had high hopes, but this ranch was a straight-up catfish. Smelled off, tasted worse. Thin, sour, and trying to fool us with some milked-down disguise. Not today, Satan.
RANCH REVIEWSTORE-BOUGHT SADNESS
I really thought this one might surprise me. When I saw the option to add a side of ranch or a Ken’s-style packet while ordering online, I was like okay, we might be working with something here. I don’t mess around with packet ranch, so I went with the side expecting it to be the better choice.
Spoiler: it wasn’t.
The second I opened the lid, I knew. That sour punch hit my nose and my trust issues flared up immediately. One taste confirmed it—this ranch is out here pretending to be good, but the truth came through fast. Thin, tangy in the wrong way, and giving serious “we tried to stretch the bottle with milk” energy.
It’s not serving, it’s struggling.
The sad part is they really tried to make it look like a real ranch moment, but no amount of disguise could cover up the flop. This was a disappointment I could smell coming.
TL;DR: I had high hopes, but this ranch was a straight-up catfish. Smelled off, tasted worse. Thin, sour, and trying to fool us with some milked-down disguise. Not today, Satan. Full review spills the tea.
